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I live for moments that don't require words
“Being Me is All it Takes”


the internet is fucking incredible. i can keep up with current events and stay in contact with old friends at the click of a button. fascinating. i’ve been watching porn for seven hours.

April 25 with 325,580 notes



how do you get a stranger in public to fall in love with you

  1. slide to the left
  2. slide to the right
  3. criss-cross
  4. criss-cross
  5. cha cha real smooth
April 25 with 203,234 notes
  • demon: i possessed you
  • me: get the fuck out
  • demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
  • me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit
    April 25 with 447,469 notes


i like the internet bc people actually think im cute 

April 24 with 66,136 notes


when i was in the 4th grade my teacher asked me to stand up and read the names of everybody that had turned in something from this paper and i read all of them except for the name “sean” because i couldnt figure out how to pronounce it and my teacher got mad at sean for not turning in his work but he did and its all my fault

April 24 with 138 notes


[at my own wedding] can I stay in the car

April 24 with 364,439 notes


next time someone tells you Muslim countries oppress women, let them know Pakistan, Bangladesh, Indonesia, Turkey, Kosovo, Kyrgyzstan, and Senegal have all had female Presidents or Prime Ministers and 1/3rd of Egypt’s parliament is female but the US has yet to even have a female vice president and can’t say “vagina” when discussing female reproductive rights

April 23 with 255,771 notes

it doesnt matter if the glass is half full or half empty all that matter is if the glass contains vodka.

April 23 with 80,985 notes
April 22 with 228,366 notes - reblog

a cinderella story


seeing your own posts on your dash


April 21 with 131,740 notes