the internet is fucking incredible. i can keep up with current events and stay in contact with old friends at the click of a button. fascinating. i’ve been watching porn for seven hours.
how do you get a stranger in public to fall in love with you
- slide to the left
- slide to the right
- cha cha real smooth
i possessed you
get the fuck out
damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit
i like the internet bc people actually think im cute
when i was in the 4th grade my teacher asked me to stand up and read the names of everybody that had turned in something from this paper and i read all of them except for the name “sean” because i couldnt figure out how to pronounce it and my teacher got mad at sean for not turning in his work but he did and its all my fault
[at my own wedding] can I stay in the car
next time someone tells you Muslim countries oppress women, let them know Pakistan, Bangladesh, Indonesia, Turkey, Kosovo, Kyrgyzstan, and Senegal have all had female Presidents or Prime Ministers and 1/3rd of Egypt’s parliament is female but the US has yet to even have a female vice president and can’t say “vagina” when discussing female reproductive rights
it doesnt matter if the glass is half full or half empty all that matter is if the glass contains vodka.
seeing your own posts on your dash